[Ryoma is so soft. With niles, he is often soft, but today. Today, here, now, in the face of all of this... he just looks at him. Those eyes are soft. Those hands are gentle... and he feels here. That he has to say something before he eats himself alive. With the swallow of the lump in his throat, and the feeling of the body close to him.]
...I'm struggling to say what I'm thinking now... because all I am thinking is what all I'm expected to be.
[He moves closer. He doesn't know how to explain the fear in his heart, how it's beating faster and faster. How he wonders what he'll look like, in front of everyone of Hoshido. Will he look kind? Cruel? Will he make Ryoma proud?]
I'm used to being a cold, cruel, nasty outlaw who says what he thinks and doesn't look back on it... but I'm going to be entering the world of politics for the first time as something more than a man to shit talk every noble in a room.
[He looks at Ryoma.]
I fear I'll be unable to make you happy, Ryoma. By the fact that I have no idea how to be anything more than a man who's only knowledge is cruelty.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2018-09-30 05:26 pm (UTC)...I'm struggling to say what I'm thinking now... because all I am thinking is what all I'm expected to be.
[He moves closer. He doesn't know how to explain the fear in his heart, how it's beating faster and faster. How he wonders what he'll look like, in front of everyone of Hoshido. Will he look kind? Cruel? Will he make Ryoma proud?]
I'm used to being a cold, cruel, nasty outlaw who says what he thinks and doesn't look back on it... but I'm going to be entering the world of politics for the first time as something more than a man to shit talk every noble in a room.
[He looks at Ryoma.]
I fear I'll be unable to make you happy, Ryoma. By the fact that I have no idea how to be anything more than a man who's only knowledge is cruelty.