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[deniles]

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[deniles]

That doesn't matter.

[He grips his knees hard, his knuckles turning white.]

...For about a year or two when I was a teenager, a man took me in. Fed me, kept me clothed... and that period of my life was filled with him raping me over and over again.

[He shuts his eye.]

Even one person thinking I'd do it brings back awful memories... because I could never make anyone experience that act.

[congracia]

[What do you say to that?]

...I see. I'm sorry to hear that.

[After a few seconds, he takes Niles' chin in hand and makes him look at him. He doesn't know if this will help at all, but he's not saying it to the side of his head.]

Niles, if I thought for even a fraction of a second that you would have done that, I wouldn't be with you. I definitely wouldn't have run across the castle grounds to try to find you.

[deniles]

...It's not that I don't think you wouldn't be with me if you suspected something was off.

[He just looks at Subaki. Now that he's forced to, at least.]

...My reputation is something I've never had to care about, and never would care about. However, it's because of this that I am able to protect my lord's reputation.

[He moves to touch Subaki's hand and hold it in his own.]

...And I feel very much the same towards you.

[congracia]

[Subaki squeezes Niles' hand.]

You know that my reputation is... a lot to me. Mine is. I don't care about yours. I don't want to care about yours. You...

[Niles just opened up to him. Surely Subaki can do his best to return the favor.]

I envy that about you.

[deniles]

...You know, to anyone else that sounds terrible, right?

[Niles sighs gently.]

But, I'm used to that.

[congracia]

[Subaki just smiles. Getting it out in the open had made this conversation much easier - on hos end, anyway.]

Things sounding terrible? Yes, I'm very well aware.

[deniles]

Not as terrible as your face, at least.

[But it's mostly teasing.]

If you came here to blame me for getting upset at your sisters words, however, I can't say you'll really make me want to stay.

[congracia]

As far as either of us knew, it was a discussion in confidence. [And you shouldn't have been eavesdropping, is what he really wants to say, but then they're going in circles.]

Do you really think so little of me that I'd chase you down just to be sure and make it worse?

[deniles]

That doesn't excuse it.

[And you're really not convincing him.]

And you'd never tell me?

[congracia]

Tell you something told to me in confidence? No. Tell you something that isn't true anymore? Also no.

If I'd overheard it... I don't know. Isn't this exactly why they say ignorance is bliss? I wouldn't want to hurt you.

[deniles]

Ignorance is death.

[He looks towards Subaki, making sure he saw his eyepatch carefully.]

Besides. What was I supposed to do? I had already heard enough to want to leave. Did you want me to go before now?

[congracia]

If I wanted you to go at any point, why would I have come all the way out here? You should know by now, I wouldn't waste the effort to rub it in.

[More importantly, why would he have risked his reputation? Not for the first time, he's starting to wonder if Niles is being obtuse on purpose.]

[deniles]

You're doing a good enough job rubbing it in already.

[He's being a little obtuse but he's also annoyed.]

Feels like you're defending yourself first.

[congracia]

If I am, I shouldn't have to defend myself from anything that happens during a private conversation with my sister. Maybe self-defense would have been not caring enough in the first place to try and stop you.

[deniles]

So then who's fault is it? Mine for listening in when I was trying to surprise you? Your sisters for saying such things about me? Or you for not stopping them before they could go so far?

[congracia]

Would you rather she said it in a letter? She would have, eventually, if she didn't have the opportunity today.

[He tilts his head back, thinking. The stars really are lovely, and it's enough to calm him down. A little.]

I don't know. I don't think it's anyone's fault.

[deniles]

I would rather you have stopped her from saying it at all.

[However, he just sighs.]

That's not what I'm hearing. You're clearly blaming me for listening in at all.

[congracia]

[He didn't know he had this much patience, instead of getting up sooner. He wants to choose his next words carefully, but he's not a mind reader.]

If that's what you want to hear, then that's what you're going to hear.

[He sighs. The longer this conversation goes, the more he hates it.]

Hoshido isn't Nohr. Maybe that's all it is, in the end. You said I was always there for you. What's defending you, if not that?

[deniles]

...Exactly what am I supposed to hear from 'you shouldn't have been listening in'?

[He hates it more and more.]

No, it's not. Perhaps I'm just more used to shutting people down who start saying negative things about people I care about. Maybe next time I should just do what you did.

[congracia]

Maybe you should, because we talked about it and she came around.

[Gods.]

[deniles]

Good for her.

[He's clearly bitter about this still.]

That changes almost nothing.

[congracia]

It's my sister, not a random courtier. If it were, that conversation wouldn't be happening in the first place. It's different.

[deniles]

...Nothing I'm saying to you is getting to you.

[He moves to stand up.]

Enjoy your sisters then.

[congracia]

I will. Fujie put the flowers up nicely instead of dropping them in front of my door. It'll be easy to pretend they were from her.

[deniles]

Then congratulations. Your reputation and your sisters have proven to be more important than how I felt. You must truly be satisfied, mister perfection.

[He narrows his gaze as the carriage comes.]