[Niles had already spoken to Leo, not saying what, just simply he wished to return to Nohr as their trip was almost done. As Niles almost never did it, Leo granted permission. A carriage would bring him home in a few hours.
Right now, with his bag, he's sitting and waiting patiently. It was a mistake anyways. Coming here and expecting anything different from what he's used to receiving.
He holds a single flower from the bunch that he took and just looks at it. He can call it his reminder.]
[The first place Subaki goes is where he finds Odin, who tells him as soon as he asks exactly where Niles is. Odin tells him there isn't exactly a rush, but Subaki runs anyway, hardly thinking. When he gets close, he stops, not wanting to make it worse by coming in with his emotions running high. Subaki can't help but smile, like he always does whenever he sees him.
He goes up to where Niles is, and sits down next to him.]
[But not the first time hearing each other is on the tip of his tongue. The way Niles is acting, he'd definitely heard something. The only question was just how much. He hums.]
We've both been busy. I was just looking for you, and I was told you'd be here.
[Damn it, Niles. Even though it's relatively private, he still doesn't want to have this conversation where anybody could come up to them. Suggesting they move, however, would be the absolute wrong thing to say. In the corner of his eye, the flower stills in Niles' hand.]
I'd have thought you'd be above eavesdropping. Evidently, we're both wrong.
I care when people think I'm going to rape someone.
[He immediately looks a different direction. He's still upset about that and he's unwilling to even look at anyone when that word comes out of his mouth.]
[He's about to defend Fujie - and remind Niles that it had nothing to do with Leo and he shouldn't have been eavesdropping in the first place. He notices Niles' looking away and it dies on his tongue.]
Were you not listening? That was ridiculous, and I told her as much.
[He grips his knees hard, his knuckles turning white.]
...For about a year or two when I was a teenager, a man took me in. Fed me, kept me clothed... and that period of my life was filled with him raping me over and over again.
[He shuts his eye.]
Even one person thinking I'd do it brings back awful memories... because I could never make anyone experience that act.
[After a few seconds, he takes Niles' chin in hand and makes him look at him. He doesn't know if this will help at all, but he's not saying it to the side of his head.]
Niles, if I thought for even a fraction of a second that you would have done that, I wouldn't be with you. I definitely wouldn't have run across the castle grounds to try to find you.
...It's not that I don't think you wouldn't be with me if you suspected something was off.
[He just looks at Subaki. Now that he's forced to, at least.]
...My reputation is something I've never had to care about, and never would care about. However, it's because of this that I am able to protect my lord's reputation.
[He moves to touch Subaki's hand and hold it in his own.]
As far as either of us knew, it was a discussion in confidence. [And you shouldn't have been eavesdropping, is what he really wants to say, but then they're going in circles.]
Do you really think so little of me that I'd chase you down just to be sure and make it worse?
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Date: 2017-08-10 10:50 pm (UTC)Right now, with his bag, he's sitting and waiting patiently. It was a mistake anyways. Coming here and expecting anything different from what he's used to receiving.
He holds a single flower from the bunch that he took and just looks at it. He can call it his reminder.]
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:03 pm (UTC)He goes up to where Niles is, and sits down next to him.]
Fancy meeting you here.
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:05 pm (UTC)[He looks defeated. Like he's been punched to the face. He doesn't even look in Subaki's direction, just forward the entire time.]
First time we've seen each other all day.
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:15 pm (UTC)We've both been busy. I was just looking for you, and I was told you'd be here.
[No points for guessing who spilled the beans.]
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:17 pm (UTC)I'm surprised you stopped by. I'd have thought you'd rather watch out for your reputation.
[And that's the clue of how much he listened to.]
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:26 pm (UTC)I'd have thought you'd be above eavesdropping. Evidently, we're both wrong.
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:49 pm (UTC)[He doesn't care anymore. Frankly, he's tired of dealing with all this bullshit.]
If something happens that I could have overheard, I'd never let myself forget it.
[And he's not apologizing.]
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:04 am (UTC)Do you normally leave flowers as a calling card? Krakenburg Castle must be very lovely.
[He's so tired of this.]
Your job is to eavesdrop on people who you don't trust, who may be a threat. Were Fujie and Airi really that dangerous?
[Was he?]
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:06 am (UTC)[He's willing to go all the way with this, if he has to.]
Might have been a trap for you. Hard to say. There had to have been a reason I shouldn't come near, right?
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:11 am (UTC)Niles, what are you talking about?
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:13 am (UTC)[He'll be direct about it if he wants. Subaki isn't going to like it.]
Those gossiping girls talked enough for me to know what people think of me in Hoshido. I'm returning to Nohr permanently.
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:22 am (UTC)[He could say things about Niles being a coward, but he'll hold off. For now.]
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:24 am (UTC)[He immediately looks a different direction. He's still upset about that and he's unwilling to even look at anyone when that word comes out of his mouth.]
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:40 am (UTC)Were you not listening? That was ridiculous, and I told her as much.
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:45 am (UTC)[He grips his knees hard, his knuckles turning white.]
...For about a year or two when I was a teenager, a man took me in. Fed me, kept me clothed... and that period of my life was filled with him raping me over and over again.
[He shuts his eye.]
Even one person thinking I'd do it brings back awful memories... because I could never make anyone experience that act.
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Date: 2017-08-11 01:02 am (UTC)...I see. I'm sorry to hear that.
[After a few seconds, he takes Niles' chin in hand and makes him look at him. He doesn't know if this will help at all, but he's not saying it to the side of his head.]
Niles, if I thought for even a fraction of a second that you would have done that, I wouldn't be with you. I definitely wouldn't have run across the castle grounds to try to find you.
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Date: 2017-08-11 01:08 am (UTC)[He just looks at Subaki. Now that he's forced to, at least.]
...My reputation is something I've never had to care about, and never would care about. However, it's because of this that I am able to protect my lord's reputation.
[He moves to touch Subaki's hand and hold it in his own.]
...And I feel very much the same towards you.
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Date: 2017-08-11 01:35 am (UTC)You know that my reputation is... a lot to me. Mine is. I don't care about yours. I don't want to care about yours. You...
[Niles just opened up to him. Surely Subaki can do his best to return the favor.]
I envy that about you.
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Date: 2017-08-13 05:29 am (UTC)[Niles sighs gently.]
But, I'm used to that.
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Date: 2017-08-18 03:34 am (UTC)Things sounding terrible? Yes, I'm very well aware.
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Date: 2017-08-23 04:04 am (UTC)[But it's mostly teasing.]
If you came here to blame me for getting upset at your sisters words, however, I can't say you'll really make me want to stay.
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Date: 2017-08-25 04:46 pm (UTC)Do you really think so little of me that I'd chase you down just to be sure and make it worse?
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Date: 2017-08-26 02:40 am (UTC)[And you're really not convincing him.]
And you'd never tell me?
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Date: 2017-09-02 03:20 am (UTC)If I'd overheard it... I don't know. Isn't this exactly why they say ignorance is bliss? I wouldn't want to hurt you.
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Date: 2017-09-02 03:23 am (UTC)[He looks towards Subaki, making sure he saw his eyepatch carefully.]
Besides. What was I supposed to do? I had already heard enough to want to leave. Did you want me to go before now?
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