[One of them is leaving. Wait. Shit. He needs to remove himself.
With quick thinking, he moves further into the shadows. With there being very little light, and the ability to stand perfectly still, he, hopefully, won't get noticed.
He wants to know exactly what this brat is going to say.]
[Once Airi leaves, Fujie worries her lip. "You said he does nothing you don't let him. Is that true for everything?"
Subaki's surprised. Her meaning is clear, but it's never crossed his mind. "Yes, for everything. I wouldn't be with him if it wasn't."
She nods. "Of course. But everyone's reputation precedes them, and I worry."
The words are out before he can even think about it. "Oh, does his suggest he'd rape me?"
Fujie's lips tighten. "Not that I've heard. But that is the worst case, and as I said, I worry."
He forces himself to calm down. "I know his reputation, and despite whatever it suggests, he's never treated me poorly. That is not something you need to worry about," he says, vehemently.]
[Niles goes back to listening once the youngest brat leaves, and immediately hates what he hears.
Niles has suffered through it himself. Being forced upon when he was much younger. The idea of it is something he would never do to another human being. The word stings that someone could consider it the worst case for him.
And if someone considers it the worst case... they aren't alone.
Did people really think he'd rape someone? Let alone Subaki?]
["Good. I'm glad." Fujie's relief is almost tangible, and Subaki knows his sister well enough to know it's genuine. But now he's wary, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and sure enough, she doesn't disappoint. "But what I do need to worry about is reputation."
Subaki's eyes narrow. Fujie isn't one to go in circles. "Mine."
She nods. "Yours."
"Why should you be? Lord Ryoma hasn't been quiet about opening up relationships between Hoshido and Nohr."
"That's true, but people talk, Subaki. Have you not given any thought to what people say?"
"No," he says, and he's surprised at how sharp his voice is. She's right, he knows it, but....]
[It's the one part Niles cares about more than anything else. Reputation. Not his own, he hates his own. His own can be burned to the ground.
Leo's reputation? He has to protect. And Subaki's reputation?
It's a sting he can't handle. He loves Subaki. More than much of his own life. Subaki is the sun to his moon. But he's not willing to ruin his reputation for the sake of a relationship.
He looks at the flowers he bought. And opens up the card he got with them.
'To my love,
Thank you for always being there for me.
From, Niles'
He was a fool.
He drops the bouquet of flowers and immediately turns to leave. Leo won't mind if he excuses himself early to go back to Nohr. He needs to get as far away as possible now.]
[The conversation goes on. Subaki doesn't let up. To him, Niles is second only to Lady Sakura. Eventually, it seems like he's starting to convince Fujie, and as she seems to grow more amenable to his love life choices, he starts to wind the conversation down.
He sees her out, but he wasn't expecting to see flowers as soon as he opens the door. They're lovely, very much so, but just dropped on the floor? He's immediately wary, and that feeling grows as he notices the card tucked into them.
Something cold snakes through his stomach as he reads the card. Had Niles thought he hadn't defended him enough? What should he have said? And it was ridiculous; it was Niles' fault for eavesdropping in the first place.
Fujie comes up behinds him, looking over his arm to read the card herself. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault," he murmurs. Despite everything she said, Niles wouldn't have been seen if he didn't want to be. There was no way she would have known he was there, and if Airi had seen him, she would have come rushing back in. There was no way to know how much Niles had heard. Certainly he'd left before Fujie had started to come around.
He's so deep in thought he barely notices Fujie gently taking the flowers from him. "I'll take care of these. I hope you find him," she says, and goes back into his room.
[Niles had already spoken to Leo, not saying what, just simply he wished to return to Nohr as their trip was almost done. As Niles almost never did it, Leo granted permission. A carriage would bring him home in a few hours.
Right now, with his bag, he's sitting and waiting patiently. It was a mistake anyways. Coming here and expecting anything different from what he's used to receiving.
He holds a single flower from the bunch that he took and just looks at it. He can call it his reminder.]
[The first place Subaki goes is where he finds Odin, who tells him as soon as he asks exactly where Niles is. Odin tells him there isn't exactly a rush, but Subaki runs anyway, hardly thinking. When he gets close, he stops, not wanting to make it worse by coming in with his emotions running high. Subaki can't help but smile, like he always does whenever he sees him.
He goes up to where Niles is, and sits down next to him.]
[But not the first time hearing each other is on the tip of his tongue. The way Niles is acting, he'd definitely heard something. The only question was just how much. He hums.]
We've both been busy. I was just looking for you, and I was told you'd be here.
[Damn it, Niles. Even though it's relatively private, he still doesn't want to have this conversation where anybody could come up to them. Suggesting they move, however, would be the absolute wrong thing to say. In the corner of his eye, the flower stills in Niles' hand.]
I'd have thought you'd be above eavesdropping. Evidently, we're both wrong.
I care when people think I'm going to rape someone.
[He immediately looks a different direction. He's still upset about that and he's unwilling to even look at anyone when that word comes out of his mouth.]
[He's about to defend Fujie - and remind Niles that it had nothing to do with Leo and he shouldn't have been eavesdropping in the first place. He notices Niles' looking away and it dies on his tongue.]
Were you not listening? That was ridiculous, and I told her as much.
[He grips his knees hard, his knuckles turning white.]
...For about a year or two when I was a teenager, a man took me in. Fed me, kept me clothed... and that period of my life was filled with him raping me over and over again.
[He shuts his eye.]
Even one person thinking I'd do it brings back awful memories... because I could never make anyone experience that act.
[After a few seconds, he takes Niles' chin in hand and makes him look at him. He doesn't know if this will help at all, but he's not saying it to the side of his head.]
Niles, if I thought for even a fraction of a second that you would have done that, I wouldn't be with you. I definitely wouldn't have run across the castle grounds to try to find you.
...It's not that I don't think you wouldn't be with me if you suspected something was off.
[He just looks at Subaki. Now that he's forced to, at least.]
...My reputation is something I've never had to care about, and never would care about. However, it's because of this that I am able to protect my lord's reputation.
[He moves to touch Subaki's hand and hold it in his own.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2017-08-10 03:02 pm (UTC)With quick thinking, he moves further into the shadows. With there being very little light, and the ability to stand perfectly still, he, hopefully, won't get noticed.
He wants to know exactly what this brat is going to say.]
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Date: 2017-08-10 03:21 pm (UTC)Subaki's surprised. Her meaning is clear, but it's never crossed his mind. "Yes, for everything. I wouldn't be with him if it wasn't."
She nods. "Of course. But everyone's reputation precedes them, and I worry."
The words are out before he can even think about it. "Oh, does his suggest he'd rape me?"
Fujie's lips tighten. "Not that I've heard. But that is the worst case, and as I said, I worry."
He forces himself to calm down. "I know his reputation, and despite whatever it suggests, he's never treated me poorly. That is not something you need to worry about," he says, vehemently.]
TW: rape discussion, light
Date: 2017-08-10 09:47 pm (UTC)Niles has suffered through it himself. Being forced upon when he was much younger. The idea of it is something he would never do to another human being. The word stings that someone could consider it the worst case for him.
And if someone considers it the worst case... they aren't alone.
Did people really think he'd rape someone? Let alone Subaki?]
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Date: 2017-08-10 10:03 pm (UTC)Subaki's eyes narrow. Fujie isn't one to go in circles. "Mine."
She nods. "Yours."
"Why should you be? Lord Ryoma hasn't been quiet about opening up relationships between Hoshido and Nohr."
"That's true, but people talk, Subaki. Have you not given any thought to what people say?"
"No," he says, and he's surprised at how sharp his voice is. She's right, he knows it, but....]
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Date: 2017-08-10 10:10 pm (UTC)Leo's reputation? He has to protect. And Subaki's reputation?
It's a sting he can't handle. He loves Subaki. More than much of his own life. Subaki is the sun to his moon. But he's not willing to ruin his reputation for the sake of a relationship.
He looks at the flowers he bought. And opens up the card he got with them.
'To my love,
Thank you for always being there for me.
From, Niles'
He was a fool.
He drops the bouquet of flowers and immediately turns to leave. Leo won't mind if he excuses himself early to go back to Nohr. He needs to get as far away as possible now.]
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Date: 2017-08-10 10:46 pm (UTC)He sees her out, but he wasn't expecting to see flowers as soon as he opens the door. They're lovely, very much so, but just dropped on the floor? He's immediately wary, and that feeling grows as he notices the card tucked into them.
Something cold snakes through his stomach as he reads the card. Had Niles thought he hadn't defended him enough? What should he have said? And it was ridiculous; it was Niles' fault for eavesdropping in the first place.
Fujie comes up behinds him, looking over his arm to read the card herself. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault," he murmurs. Despite everything she said, Niles wouldn't have been seen if he didn't want to be. There was no way she would have known he was there, and if Airi had seen him, she would have come rushing back in. There was no way to know how much Niles had heard. Certainly he'd left before Fujie had started to come around.
He's so deep in thought he barely notices Fujie gently taking the flowers from him. "I'll take care of these. I hope you find him," she says, and goes back into his room.
He's off as fast as he can go.]
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Date: 2017-08-10 10:50 pm (UTC)Right now, with his bag, he's sitting and waiting patiently. It was a mistake anyways. Coming here and expecting anything different from what he's used to receiving.
He holds a single flower from the bunch that he took and just looks at it. He can call it his reminder.]
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:03 pm (UTC)He goes up to where Niles is, and sits down next to him.]
Fancy meeting you here.
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:05 pm (UTC)[He looks defeated. Like he's been punched to the face. He doesn't even look in Subaki's direction, just forward the entire time.]
First time we've seen each other all day.
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:15 pm (UTC)We've both been busy. I was just looking for you, and I was told you'd be here.
[No points for guessing who spilled the beans.]
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:17 pm (UTC)I'm surprised you stopped by. I'd have thought you'd rather watch out for your reputation.
[And that's the clue of how much he listened to.]
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:26 pm (UTC)I'd have thought you'd be above eavesdropping. Evidently, we're both wrong.
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Date: 2017-08-10 11:49 pm (UTC)[He doesn't care anymore. Frankly, he's tired of dealing with all this bullshit.]
If something happens that I could have overheard, I'd never let myself forget it.
[And he's not apologizing.]
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:04 am (UTC)Do you normally leave flowers as a calling card? Krakenburg Castle must be very lovely.
[He's so tired of this.]
Your job is to eavesdrop on people who you don't trust, who may be a threat. Were Fujie and Airi really that dangerous?
[Was he?]
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:06 am (UTC)[He's willing to go all the way with this, if he has to.]
Might have been a trap for you. Hard to say. There had to have been a reason I shouldn't come near, right?
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:11 am (UTC)Niles, what are you talking about?
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:13 am (UTC)[He'll be direct about it if he wants. Subaki isn't going to like it.]
Those gossiping girls talked enough for me to know what people think of me in Hoshido. I'm returning to Nohr permanently.
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:22 am (UTC)[He could say things about Niles being a coward, but he'll hold off. For now.]
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:24 am (UTC)[He immediately looks a different direction. He's still upset about that and he's unwilling to even look at anyone when that word comes out of his mouth.]
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:40 am (UTC)Were you not listening? That was ridiculous, and I told her as much.
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Date: 2017-08-11 12:45 am (UTC)[He grips his knees hard, his knuckles turning white.]
...For about a year or two when I was a teenager, a man took me in. Fed me, kept me clothed... and that period of my life was filled with him raping me over and over again.
[He shuts his eye.]
Even one person thinking I'd do it brings back awful memories... because I could never make anyone experience that act.
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Date: 2017-08-11 01:02 am (UTC)...I see. I'm sorry to hear that.
[After a few seconds, he takes Niles' chin in hand and makes him look at him. He doesn't know if this will help at all, but he's not saying it to the side of his head.]
Niles, if I thought for even a fraction of a second that you would have done that, I wouldn't be with you. I definitely wouldn't have run across the castle grounds to try to find you.
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Date: 2017-08-11 01:08 am (UTC)[He just looks at Subaki. Now that he's forced to, at least.]
...My reputation is something I've never had to care about, and never would care about. However, it's because of this that I am able to protect my lord's reputation.
[He moves to touch Subaki's hand and hold it in his own.]
...And I feel very much the same towards you.
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Date: 2017-08-11 01:35 am (UTC)You know that my reputation is... a lot to me. Mine is. I don't care about yours. I don't want to care about yours. You...
[Niles just opened up to him. Surely Subaki can do his best to return the favor.]
I envy that about you.
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Date: 2017-08-13 05:29 am (UTC)[Niles sighs gently.]
But, I'm used to that.
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